10 Qualities of a Good Friend: The Ultimate Friendship Checklist

Are you particular about the people you let into your life? Or have you had bad experiences with friends and are now weary of people? Maybe you are the opposite. You have let everybody in, and now your life is crowded with people you cannot rely on. 

What wouldn’t I give to have the perfect friendship goals and walk hand in hand with my best friend? It is not that I can’t make friends; I am very particular about who I let into my inner circle of people I can trust. Friends are an essential part of our lives, but we don’t give as much thought to choosing them as we should. So, until I find the qualities I am looking for, I may remain “bestie-less.” 

The question is, what should you be looking out for? What type of people should you be letting in to your life? What are the qualities of a good friend? Let’s find out.

What is friendship?

Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, a psychologist at the University of Illinois and a friendship expert, defines it as “a relationship that involves two very critical dimensions: interdependence and voluntary participation.” There must be a desire on the part of both parties to participate in each other's lives. To put it simply, friendship is a special bond between two or more people. How does a person move from a mere acquaintance to a part of their inner circle and then to their best friend?

What are the 10 qualities of a good friend? Read to the end…

As mentioned, you need to be more intentional about your friendships, as intentional as you are about picking life partners. Here are some good qualities of a friend that you should look out for: This can help you set close friends apart from the rest.

• Trustworthy

Trust is a core value that holds a friendship together. We need to know that we can be our most genuine, authentic selves and not be self-conscious or ashamed. True friends offer us a safe space to fall apart in, where we can share our secrets, ideas, and desires and not see them on the front page of a magazine the next day.

• Supportive

Friends that support you are the best! They offer emotional and informational support when you need help balancing your feelings or don’t know how to manage a situation. They will provide you with the encouragement and reinforcement you need to get through life’s many challenges.

• Acceptance

Many people crave to be accepted as they are, quirks and all. Being accepted is becoming especially hard in today’s world because of the many social standards. But that is what good friends are for. You can comfortably be yourself because they accept all that you are and can help you become the best version of yourself. They do not judge you and see you for more than your worst moments.

• Active listeners

When I get a best friend, they will have ear-fulls of my day, what my boss said, and even how my relationship is going. I will be sharing everything! But it’s not enough to be heard; a good friend actively listens. They ask questions, listen to the responses, and give suggestions as well. With them, it’s not about getting the gossip; it’s about being there for a friend.

• Emotionally available

Emotional availability is not limited to romantic relationships. Friends have to be emotionally available too. You should be able to feel heard and acknowledged, and your point of view should count for something. This strengthens the bond between you and allows you to stay connected, whether you are next to each other or miles apart. 

• Be Present

If we are friends, I need you to show up when things are going south. Your physical and mental presence is vital in good and bad times. Sometimes, all we need to feel better is a hug, a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to help us clean up after the party.

• Share interests

A lot of friendships start with shared interests and passions. These things you have in common are what help to sustain the company. It could be a love for the arts, biking, or food. Having something in common gives us a sense of belonging, an innate human need.

• Reciprocate feelings

Every relationship requires a balance of give-and-take of time, attention, and emotions to work. Friendships are not different. As long as they are there when you need them, you have to show up. They have to trust you, and you trust them. If the feelings are not reciprocated, the relationship will become too heavy for one party.

• Loyalty

There are a lot of discussions about loyalty on social media. Many celebrities and influencers are saying how critical and loyal friends are. Good friends are devoted to the end. They are the definition of ‘ride-or-die.’ They are willing to drop anything for you and help make your life easier. Loyal friends don’t talk about you behind your back or rub you in the mud.

• Respect

A good friend should respect you as a human being. You will not have everything in common, and that is ok! When dealing with your differences, they have to respect that you don’t see things the same as they do. A healthy relationship respectfully allows two people to have different belief systems.

Conclusion

I have listed ten qualities of a good friend. These should help you get your friendship on track. Having a good friend is great; being a good friend is even more so. As much as we expect these things from other people, we should be able to offer them as well. Being in a healthy friendship with someone starts with being friends with yourself. You should be able to understand, respect, and love yourself before learning to love somebody else. We should be comfortable being alone so that our individuality is not washed away in a group.