8 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills: The Last Point Will Shock You
Communication is the cornerstone of human interaction, and it’s the bedrock upon which we build our relationships, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a work partnership, or a relationship with family and friends.
In fact, over 80% of the problems we have in our relationships, at home, and even at work stem from our inability to communicate our ideas, opinions, and feelings effectively. In this post, I will show you eight ways you can improve your communication skills. And yes, the last point will indeed shock you!
What is effective communication?
In the introduction, I mentioned that it is our inability to communicate “effectively” that is having a ripple effect in several aspects of our lives. Remember that communication and ‘talking’ aren’t necessarily the same. Read our previous blog post on understanding human communication to learn the difference.
Effective communication is a two-way process between the sender and receiver. The goal is to ensure that the intended message is understood to achieve the desired response or action. Verbal and non-verbal cues, active listening, clarity, and empathy are crucial components. Verbal communication involves using clear and concise language and active listening to ensure understanding.
Effective communication encompasses verbal and non-verbal cues, active listening, clarity, and empathy. Let’s break down these components:
- Verbal Communication: Verbal communication has to do with the words you speak. Be concise, articulate, and considerate. For instance, clearly expressing your ideas in a work meeting can lead to better collaboration.
- Non-Verbal Communication: Your body language, gestures, and facial expressions convey powerful messages. People may interpret your gestures differently depending on the space you are in. Maintaining eye contact during a conversation signals engagement and interest.
- Active Listening: Truly hearing someone involves more than just hearing their words. It means understanding their emotions, concerns, and underlying messages. Imagine a romantic partner sharing their day—you listen attentively, ask questions, and validate their feelings.
- Clarity and Concision: Avoid ambiguity. Whether you’re giving instructions to a family member or presenting a project at work, clarity ensures effective communication. “Please pick up groceries after work” is clearer than “Can you get some stuff?”
- Empathy: Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Empathetic communication acknowledges emotions and fosters deeper connections. When a friend shares their struggles, respond with compassion and understanding.
How does communication improve your relationship?
Effective communication is the glue that binds every kind of relationship. Honest conversations about feelings, expectations, and boundaries strengthen the bond between partners. Active listening helps resolve conflicts and fosters intimacy. In your work partnerships, clear communication ensures everyone is on the same page. Whether it’s delegating tasks or brainstorming ideas, effective communication enhances productivity. Within your family, understanding family dynamics requires empathy. When discussing sensitive topics, like finances or parenting, respectful communication prevents misunderstandings.
8 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills (Practical Examples Included)
What's the best way to improve your communication skills? I have listed 8 tips to improve your communication skills. I have also included some practical examples to help you understand these concepts. Find my tested and approved tips below:
- Active Listening
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey
Active listening is the first step towards improving communication. It involves fully focusing on the speaker, avoiding interruptions, and responding thoughtfully.
Example: With your partner or spouse, active listening can be as simple as putting down your phone when your partner is talking about their day. This shows that you value their words and are willing to engage with them.
- Prepare ahead of time.
When preparing for any conversation, it's important to think about the entire message from start to finish. This includes doing research to gather all the necessary information to support your message. You should also consider how you will respond to questions and criticisms and try to anticipate any unexpected scenarios.
To prepare for any conversation, it's helpful to brainstorm potential questions, requests for additional information or clarification, and disagreements beforehand. This will help you address them calmly and clearly during the conversation.
Example: Before engaging in a salary or promotion negotiation, know what you are willing to accept and what you aren’t.
- Non-verbal communication
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” Peter Drucker
Non-verbal cues, such as body language, eye contact, and facial expressions, often speak louder than words. Like Peter Drucker said, a lot is hidden in the things we don’t say but often show. Paying attention to verbal cues and being intentional about the messages you pass on will go a long way toward improving your communication skills.
Example: At work, maintaining eye contact during a meeting can show your colleagues that you are engaged and respectful of their ideas.
- Clarity and concision
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw
Being clear and concise prevents misunderstandings and ensures your message is understood. We sometimes rehearse conversations before they happen, which is a good way to prepare but problematic because we assume that our listeners understand us. In the end, we assume that we have communicated an idea when, in truth, we haven’t.
Example: When discussing chores with your roommate, be specific about your expectations. Instead of saying, “Can you clean up?” say, “Can you please wash the dishes tonight?”
- Empathy
“Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’” Brené Brown
Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It allows us to connect on a deeper level. Don’t be in a hurry to offer solutions; don’t dismiss the speakers' feelings either. Hold space for them to express their feelings. Consider the example below.
Example: If a friend shares a problem with you, instead of jumping to solutions, say, “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you.”
- Open-Mindedness
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” Albert Einstein
Being open-minded in communication means being accepting of other people’s opinions, even if they differ from your own. You don’t always have to agree, and that is okay. Being open-minded allows you to see and experience life through a different lens.
Example: If a coworker proposes a new idea that you disagree with, instead of dismissing it outright, say, “That’s an interesting perspective; I hadn’t considered that.”
- Respect
“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” Laurence Sterne
Respect is the foundation of good communication. It involves acknowledging others’ rights to express their thoughts and feelings. Respect can be as simple as not interrupting when someone else is speaking and acknowledging their feelings.
- Honesty
“Honest communication is built on truth and integrity and upon respect of the one for the other.” Benjamin E. Mays
And now, the point that may shock you is honesty. It seems obvious, but it’s often overlooked. Honesty fosters trust and integrity in our relationships. Don’t lie because you feel that is what your friend or spouse wants to hear. No relationship built on lies has stood the test of time. Being honest about your feelings, even when it’s difficult, can prevent resentment from building up.
Wrap Up!
In conclusion, improving communication skills is a journey, not a destination. It requires practice, patience, and a willingness to make mistakes. But the rewards—stronger relationships, better understanding, and personal growth—are well worth the effort. Remember, the key to effective communication is not just about what you say but also how you say it. Happy communicating!
